Wednesday, November 21, 2012


Because who really cares about the crust anyway?

I heart pumpkin pie, the spicier the better. Often it is I who "insist" on making the pumpkin pie for a holiday dinner --in fact I am a control freak. I like my damn pie the way I make it. I have noticed the past few times though, that I had a LOT OF pie batter left over. Like I filled the two nine inch pie crusts to brimming and there was still over a dozen tiny crustless pumpkin pies' worth of material. 

In case you want to convert a whole recipes' worth, I estimate that you'd get about 36 tiny pies. 


Is found on the back of the Libby's pumpkin can, with a few modifications. In case you are not staring at a can of pumpkin filling, here is the recipe:

1 1/2 c sugar
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cloves 
4 large eggs
1 can (29 oz) of LIBBY'S (R) 100% Pure Pumpkin
2 cans (12 fl oz each) of CARNATION (R) evaporated milk
2 pie shells

Mix sugar/salt/spices together. Whisk eggs in large bowl. Stir in pumpkin and sugar-spice mixture. Gradually stir in evaporated milk. Pour pie into two shells. Bake at preheated 425 oven for 15 mins, then cut the temp to 350 for 40-50 mins or until a knife comes out clean. Cool for two hours. Serve immediately or refrigerate.

My modifications:
1) Double the spices.
2) Lessen the sugar by 1/4 cup.
4) Add nutmeg. Just shake it all around in there. Give the top of the batter a good sprinkling.
5) Add vanilla. Don't measure this either. Pour it in like you're topping off someone's drink.

So anyway like I said, I realized that even if I fill my two shells to capacity, there was a lot of potential pumpkin custard left over in the bowl. So:

Line a muffin tin with baking cups. Ladle batter into cups until they are full but not brimming.

Bake tiny pies with regular sized pies, exactly the same temps. I put mine on the bottom rack and they turned out fine. Cool for two hours and then refrigerate. 

For any of you who follow this blog and know what my situation is right now, you should know that being mentally together enough to make tray-loads of pie amazes me. Baking is a joyous thing. I didn't know that I could rise to the occasion.


Last year when I tested this idea, half the tiny pies turned out tasty but how shall we say, aesthetically lacking. This was because I had to scrape them out of the Calphalon baking pan. I did not use baking cups. I didn't want the rippled edges. But I had not realized the wonderfully adhesive quality of caramelized custard. 
I'd had to call my mom. She'd told me (duh) use baking cups or parchment and how long to cook them for. 
I didn't remember how long, for this year. I had to keep testing them. Whatever she said, I hadn't written it down.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Happy anniversary to me

Today 11/1 is my fourteenth anniversary for being in recovery from self-injury. This past year, well okay, these past few months have been the hardest... I won't say in fourteen years b/c that first year was rough as hell but certainly in the past seven years.

There's this artist that I really like whose name is Kimya Dawson. She got a little pop of notoriety when they used songs of hers for the soundtrack of the movie Juno, which is when I found out about her. I can't really describe her style, just to say that she's amazing and other people have used labels like "anti-folk" and "freak-folk" so there you go.

Last night when I was journaling I can't remember what gave me the association but I thought hm what's she up to lately and re-checked her out. Apparently she released an album last year with this great song on it, "Walk Like Thunder." I listened on YouTube this morning. Talk about serendipity or fortuitousness or the universe giving you the thing you need at the right time.

I found two links, a studio version which has a cool pic of the tattoo she references in the song, and honestly the quality is better, but the other version I found was a live one at a bar in Pittsburgh (!)-- I hope she comes around again on her tour this / next year. I'm giving you the live one b/c the energy is there and you get to see real people and real faces and emotion even though it's less polished.

The reason this song is important to me today is b/c I realized yesterday when I was talking to A that this grief I'm carrying around --I can't stop and wait for it to be over. I have to somehow start getting on with my life, my work, again. I need to go to readings and hear people. I need to go to open mics again. I need to submit more stuff. I feel like I'm on the cusp of figuring out how exactly to do that. Like emotionally, how to do that. There's no way I can sort out all the strands of this giant clusterfuck that was dropped on me and THEN get back to my endeavors. They will have to happen at the same time. Yesterday I was like, I have no idea... just NO IDEA how to do that. This morning I heard the song and I felt like maaaaaaybe I could build a little bridge between here and there.

So listen to it dammit! If you can't spare the whole eight minutes, at least listen to half. It's really good.

Clicky click.