My uncle emailed Mike to let him know that my mom has been throwing up small amounts of blood for the last two days and they finally convinced her to go to an ER to get it looked at. They think she now has a bleeding ulcer. N says I'm barred from looking up anything on the internet dealing with fleas or my mom's condition, so I had Mike look it up and he said they can cauterize the bleeding with an endoscope, which they can do with twilight anesthesia. If that doesn't work, it's surgery, which she will most likely refuse.
I just keep thinking.....
.... but I'm not going to share what I'm thinking because I'm afraid of being judged. I'm judging myself already. I can't even believe this whole situation, Still. Apparently she's been "the same" since I left until now.
I said I wasn't going back there.
They've now informed my grandmother of how serious my mom's condition is.
Apparently that didn't go over so well.
As you might think it wouldn't.
I don't even know if any of them want to see me, including my mother. I think she has mixed feelings. I think the goodbye we had was a good one and I want to keep it that way.
Then the cat got a hairball and I flipped out. Internally. Everything is internal right now. I can't seem to ... I don't know. Finish this blog post, among other things.
I would ask you to pray, if you are the praying type, but I don't know what to pray for anyway. I guess I would say, for a peaceful transition for my mom. And some grace for the rest of us to get through this.
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