The phone rang at 4 am.
My mother, her panic—
a long dilution of vowels.
What? My heartbeat’s
windup, halt and clip.
Cody died. This is
where
his organs must have
burst. How will I
clean it up?
___________________
I like this blog and its community. I like their challenges and the responses they get. Hopefully they will like me too, in spite of the fact that I will continue to inflict my poemlets on them.
Writing exercises nearly always made my brain feel good, provided I have a tiny bit of latitude. For example, I think they want 33-word flash fictions and this is a poem. That's okay --I'm fine with not "winning." But a challenge puts me in a box and says, now find your way out. I like finding my way out of the box.
Very nice. I like "a long dilution of vowels."
ReplyDeleteA very poignant piece.
ReplyDeleteI don't make the rules at Trifecta, but many of us have submitted poems. I believe it's the word count, and using the prompt in the correct way that is more important.
Questions, always questions, makes good writing. Well done!
ReplyDeleteYou broke no rules, I think the point is to do your thing as long as you meet the word count. Poems rock.
ReplyDeleteThis one? I love that it made me wonder...
Came from the Trifextra linkup.
Gee, thanks for all the friendly comments :)
ReplyDelete"Long dilution of vowels" is fabulously descriptive. Nicely phrased. And, like Kim said, poems are definitely allowed. I did one for my first challenge.
ReplyDeleteLovely - Agreed: dilution of vowels is lovely. And I've seen many poems posted at Trifecta.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for linking up to Trifextra. Remember, this weekend’s entries are being judged by the Trifecta community, so make sure you visit the site at the close of the challenge to vote. Our linking service will not allow you to vote for a link from the same computer where it was submitted, so plan ahead! Voting closes 12 hours after the close of the challenge. Winners will be announced with the Monday post. Hope to see you back then.
ReplyDeleteI've seen flash fiction, nonfiction, poems, and picture captions. I'm reasonably certain they like it when we break the rules. And I'm with the others voting for the dilution of vowels. "This is where his organs must have burst" is also graphically wonderful. (If rather uncomfortable for Cody, Mom, and the person at the other end of the receiver.)
ReplyDeleteI think this piece fits perfectly. While the prompts have strict rules, they are quite practical, in my opinion, and leave the creative interpretation to the individuals. I think you've hit this challenge right on the head, and brilliantly too.
ReplyDeleteI too love the way writing challenges are making me feel about writing. This is a very new community, and quite frankly I am inspired and my ideas open up with every new story I read, including this one.
I'm glad you've joined. This was very well played.